Homeschooling through the Seasons of Life

Every season of the year has its charm.  Summer holds beach trips, ice cream, bare feet, and long, lazy afternoons.  Autumn brings crisp apples, crisp weather, the crunch of leaves and the mouthwatering aroma of pumpkin pie.  In winter, you blow out your breath in frosty clouds, go ice skating, and drink hot cocoa by a roaring fire.  Then spring breezes in warmly with new life, bright and beautiful blossoms, and the promise of summer break arriving before long.

Often, we describe our lives in terms of seasons.  “It’s just a season,” reminds us that the experiences of the phase of life we are in is transitory and soon a new season of life will arrive.  There are good seasons of fun and growth and happiness.  There are times of transition and change.  There are periods in life where things are difficult and sad and challenging.  And there are seasons of new life and new beginnings.

As homeschoolers, we have the challenge of trying to educate our children as we go and grow through the seasons together.  There will be exhilerating seasons of new beginnings, enthusiasm, when you plant seeds and faithfully water them.  There will be times when homeschooling and life is going well and you see the fruit of your labors blossoming in your children in their skills, understanding, or habits.  There will be times of transitions when you are trying to adjust to changes to your life or routine.  And there are seasons of difficulty, sadness, or grief, when things are hard and school seems an overwhelming burden.

So how does one homeschool through all of these changing seasons?

1.  Lean on God’s Strength– Abide in Him and let his words abide in you by spending time in prayer and in his Word, meditating on it and memorizing it.

Lean on God’s strength and abide in Him when things are going well, when life is shifting all around you, when everything is impossibly hard.  Abide.  Always.

God’s grace gives peace despite your circumstances

2.  Live in Grace– Remember that your worth, your value is not dependent upon your accomplishments or failures.  Your value is determined by the price paid for you.  The blood of the one and only Son of God.

Thank Him for his gracious provision when things are going well and trust in his sovereignty, his wisdom, power, and love, when things are hard.  It is God’s grace that enables you to be victorious and it is God’s grace that carries you when you fall.

His grace carries you

I’ve noticed that moms have that thing called Mom Guilt.  We all experience it.  We are not doing enough.  We are failing our husbands and ruining our children.  We look around at other peoples’ best, judge ourselves on that impossibly high standard and find ourselves wanting.

You know, whenever I talk to any other mom about this, I can see that Mom Guilt is ridiculous.  I encourage them to “Let it Go!”  Have grace for themselves.  But it seems that the hardest thing is to have grace for yourself.  I know.  It is for me too.

What we have to remember is that God is sovereign.  Our best efforts will fall far short.  We will fail.  We will yell at our kids unfairly.  We will neglect some important habit.   We will forget things, fail to fulfill promises, disappoint our kids from time to time.  God’s grace enables our successes in parenting and covers our failures.  If we can use our failures to point to the One who never will fail them, we will have done our job.

My two year old almost drowned a few months ago.  How I castigated myself!  I wasn’t there to watch my son.  Why wasn’t I watching?  But God was watching when I wasn’t.  He saved my son.  He’s the only one who can truly save our children.

Live in God’s grace so you can reveal God’s grace and love to your children.

3.  Rejoice Always– Give God thanks for the good times and be thankful for God’s grace and strength and sovereignty in the bad times.  This will make your good times better and your bad times a bit lighter.

4.  Record God’s Faithfulness– Write down the ways in which you see God work, in the good times and the bad.  This can later be a great encouragement when things are challenging (again).

Write down the things you do in your homeschooling.  Take pictures and make a scrapbook or a Shutterfly Yearbook.  Then when you are feeling discouraged (perhaps going through a season of illness like we recenty when through- when no school gets done for 6 weeks) and feeling like your kids are learning nothing and doing nothing valuable, you can look back at how far you’ve come and the fun things you’ve done.

5.  Be Flexible in Times of Change or Challenge– If no school gets done for a few days or weeks, that’s ok.  One of the beauties of homeschool is the wonderful flexibility with the schedule.  We school from August to June so there are plenty of weeks we can take off for travel, illness, or when we need a break.

Perhaps you need to purchase some special materials for those times of change- audiobooks, educational films, special craft kits, sticker books, computer programs or online learning website memberships.  Get help if you can.  Grandmas can do a baking “class” or read wonderful stories to their grandkids.  Perhaps Dad can help with school when he is home- or he can take the kids to the zoo or local museum for a field trip.

This is how a dad takes the kids on a field trip

You might need to shorten up your school schedule.  Times of transition or hardship call for a “just the basics” schedule, rather than worrying about all the extras we homeschoolers like to include in our days.  Make a short list of the basics- depending on your children’s current needs, and just aim to accomplish those.

In the end, the most important thing is to abide in Christ.  Abide in Him and He will carry you.

6 Ways to Cultivate Thankfulness

The leaves are changing color and falling off the trees.  The days are growing colder and shorter.  I’ve pulled out my sweaters from a box on the highest shelf in my closet and hung them on the rod instead.  A beautiful, joyful, cozy holiday is approaching and I don’t mean the one that all the stores are decorated for.  Thanksgiving is just around the corner.  With football and pumpkin pie, turkey and feasting with friends and family, the time has come to begin giving thanks.

I have noticed in my children lately a distinct lack of thankfulness.  There is much whining instead.  And to me, there is very little that is more fatiguing than listening to complaining and grumbling.  Lately, whenever I stop their play to come to school, chores, projects, or to get ready to go on some outing or another, I am met with sullen countenances, whining tones, and general grouchiness.

It isn’t like I don’t understand.  When I am reading an article I found on Facebook, or when I’m in the middle of my Shutterfly project, or when I’m trying to get something done, and some thing or child interrupts me, I’m a bit snappy too.

So we all need to work on cultivating thankfulness in our hearts.  For contentment counteracts complaint.

If we are content with what we have, we will not grumble for more.  The act of giving thanks banishes fits of sullen tempers.

We are very thankful for RAIN!!!

In  I Thessalonians 5:16-18 , Paul tells us to “Rejoice always,  pray without ceasing,  give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”   This is a challenging passage.  Rejoice always?  Give thanks in all circumstances?  What about when I am interrupted from doing important things?  Or my husband is out of work?  Or we can’t make the rent?  Or my child is in the hospital?  

What about in the day to day frustrations of having your toddler draw on the wall again?  Or dealing with sick children?  Or working hard not to scream when your clumsy kid accidently breaks a precious heirloom?

The key to rejoicing always and giving thanks in all circumstances is found between the two:  Pray without ceasing.  If you are in constant communion with God, He will give you the strength, wisdom, and perspective to give thanks in all cicumstances.  To rejoice, even in the midst of trials and challenges.

So this month, we all need work on cultivating thankfulness.  Here’s what we’re doing to do that:

1.  Prayer:  Obviously, as previously stated, the only way to have thankfulness is to pray and ask God.  When one of my children approaches me with whining, I will stop the conversation and share I Thessalonians 5:16-18 and then pray out loud, for the Lord to give us both a heart of thankfulness and contentment.  The secret to being content is that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.  (Philippians 4:11-13)

2.  A Habit of Counting Your Blessings:  Next I require the whining child to tell me something that he or she is thankful for with a happy heart.  And that happy heart needs to show up on the face!  I am working to train a habit in all of our minds to think of a blessing when we are tempted to complain.  This is an important switch of perspective and focus that requires some mental effort and therefore takes the mind off of the current situation.  Often, we use a bit of humor to help us out.  How thankful I am for humor that can help diffuse tense and difficult moments.

A Happy Heart & Countenance

3.  A Thankfulness Tree: This month, we are building a Thankfulness Tree on the wall next to our dining table.  My husband cut out a trunk and branches from an old cardboard box and we taped it to the wall.  He also cut out paper leaves in green, yellow, orange, and red.  At dinner, we go around the table and share what we are thankful for that day.  I write these on the leaves and we tape them on our tree.  It is encouraging and fun to do this together.  And it is a perfect decoration for our wall in this month of Thanksgiving!

4.  Play Thankful Games:  For the last few years, as soon as our oldest were old enough to participate, we have played the Thankfulness alphabet game with our children in November.  At dinner time, we go around the table and give a thing we are thankful for in alphabetical order.  We have to say everyone else’s previous items too!  So this activity trains the mind in remembering and our hearts in thankfulness.

5.  Singing:  Ephesians 5:18b-20 says to “be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.”  As we sing songs in with grateful and worshipful hearts, our spirits are lifted and there is no room for complaining in ou hearts.  Our hymn this month is I Will Enter His Gates With Thanksgiving.  We sing it every morning and it is a very cheerful song to start the day with!  In the evenings, my husband leads them in songs such as, Give Thanks with a Thankful Heart.  We also review hymns we’ve learned such as Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing and It is Well With My Soul.  Another hymn I want us to learn is Come Ye Thankful People Come.

6.  Notice Thankfulness:  I will be encouraging all of us to notice when someone is thankful, either in our family, our circle of friends, or in the books we read or things we watch.  If we spot a great example of thankfulness, we can discuss it and uphold it as worthy of emulation.  There are several folk and fairy tales that promote thankfulness and contentment, such as Androcles and the Lion, The Fisherman and His Wife, The Elves and the Shoemaker, and Snow White and Rose Red.  I don’t want to do much preaching or “moralizing,” but I do want to notice good (and bad) examples of gratitude so that we might have some good discussions about the value of the virtue and the consequences of lacking it.

Very thankful for his Blankie

That is what we are doing to cultivate thankful, grateful hearts, which is God’s will for us in Christ Jesus.  Is there anything special you do to cultivate thankfulness in your heart or family?

 

Parenting in Faith not Fear

We cannot do better for our children than to commit them to the Lord Jesus, to be wrought upon, and prayed for, by him.

Matthew Henry

At a birthday party one warm Saturday afternoon several weeks ago, my youngest son, just 2 years old, managed to fall into a pool.

I had forgotten that it was to be a pool party, so we had arrived without swimsuits or flotation devices of any kind.  I watched Shortstop like a hawk for an hour, and when he was occupied with the other kids, playing games on the grass, I stepped away for a few minutes to make a quick phone call to my husband to let him know where we were.

All of a sudden, one of the moms at the party came running up to me telling me that my baby was drowning.  I started running and saw them lifting a blue, lifeless baby out of the pool.  I discovered later that the young brother of the birthday girl had seen Shortstop and called out, and his fourteen-year old cousin had quickly pulled my little son out and saved his life.

By the time I arrived at my son’s side, he had vomited and was awake and crying.  I held him until the paramedics arrived and checked him out all over.  They noticed that his color was off- he was a dusky gray, though, rather than blue, thankfully.  They also noticed that while he was responsive and breathing on his own, he was quite lethargic.  Not at all what my active, energetic, mischievous little two-year-old should be.  They told me they would be taking him to the hospital because of the possibility of secondary drowning, where inhaled liquid can act as an irritant in the lungs, causing a serious condition or death.

The paramedics took us in the ambulance to the closest hospital and when we arrived there were many medical people surrounding us.  They hooked my baby up to monitors, examined his throat and body, rolled an X-ray machine into the room and took X-rays of his lungs, took his blood and did all sorts of things.

After about an hour, Shortstop perked up.  He started telling me the colors of everything in the room and babbling sweet and silly nonsense and generally becoming more like himself.  My husband had managed to track us down and arrived in time to here Shortstop tell me some silly knock-knock jokes.  “Knock-knock, who’s there? Orange. Orange who?  Orange  gla….sses.”

The doctor came in at some point and told me that there was no fluid in his lungs, his initial blood test had shown that he had experienced a stressful, traumatic event, but his second blood test was totally normal.  He had had a close call, but he expected my little son to be just fine.  I was very overwhelmed with gratitude and relief.

We were then transferred to Kaiser Hospital to be kept under observation for the night.  He slept well and was very cheerful, charming all of the nurses the next morning.  The doctor told me, as she released us, that she expected that he would be just fine.

And he is.

I spent the next day staring into space and crying.  Crying and praying grateful praises to my God and Savior.  Thank you, Lord, that you were watching over my child when I wasn’t.

Now, in hindsight, there are so many things I would do differently.  But still, it struck me that next day how thankful I am that my children are not really my own.

These precious children I carried to term, birthed, nursed, rock, kiss, hug, teach, play and pray with, do not actually belong to me.  They are a gift from God.  I am his steward, his representative, and to a certain extent, I am responsible to care for them, protect them, train them, and raise them according to his standards.  Because in the end, God is the one who is truly and ultimately responsible for them.

There will be so many times in my life when I cannot watch them, cannot be with them, cannot hover over them and protect them from every evil and danger they will face.  It is so good to know that there is a God who is everywhere and all-powerful who loves them and watches over them.

I’ve noticed that it is so incredibly easy to fall into the trap of parenting out of fear.  There are thousands of articles that try to persuade you to do things their way because if you don’t, dire consequences will follow.

If you spank your child, you are giving them brain damage, and they will turn out resentful, violent, and probably criminals.  If you don’t spank your child, you are a permissive parent and your children will not understand consequences, but will grow up self-centered, irresponsible and probably criminals.   Let them cry it out, or they will learn to manipulate you.  Don’t ever let them cry it out, or they will turn out hating you.  There are endless debates on how to feed them, educate them, how to let them play, how to provide for them.  Should you stay home or work? How much screen time?  How do you celebrate the holidays? Sometimes I feel terrible weight in every choice: what books to read to them, what curriculum to buy, how much outdoor time to require, how many outings and events to schedule.

And then the more articles I read, the more stress I feel.  Truly the author of Ecclesiastes knew what he was talking about: “For in much wisdom is much vexation, and he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.” (1:18)

There’s just so much pressure for parents.  These children who have been entrusted to us are so important and we want to get it right.  We don’t have another chance!

But there is no peace and no joy in parenting and making rules and choices for our children out of fear.  We are doing no good to our children in letting fear and stress guide us, drive us, enslave us.

The choices we make in fear suffocate and damage.  And fear not only damages our children and our relationships with them, but also our own bodies and spirits.  Stress kills.

Furthermore, children are amazing copiers.  If we let fear rule us, they will pick up on that and let fear rule them too.  We want better for our children and we want better for ourselves.  God wants better for us..

What can we do instead?

1.  Pray.  Pray for them, pray for our decisions, pray for ourselves, pray for the world, pray for our communities, pray for the church.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7

Cast all your cares upon him, for he cares for you.  I Peter 5:8

We should pray about the big things in our lives and in the world, but we can also pray about the little things.  The other day, I was stressing out- much more than was warranted- about which Language Arts curriculum to use next year.  I was really struggling with feeling anxious about it until I realized what I was doing.  I lifted the matter to the Lord and asked him to give me wisdom at the right time.  Then in the meantime, I committed to stop worrying about it and also stop thinking about it altogether.

What do you know?  The very next day, I was at the park with a number of other homeschool moms and a particular mom had some experience with one of my choices and was able to give me some very valuable information and advice.  Not all of my prayers are answered so quickly, but He always answers.

2.  Love.  We need to remember that these little persons we are raising actually belong to God.  We need to make wise choices.   We need to raise them according to who God created them to be and not try to force them to be someone they are not.  We need to develop loving, trusting relationships with our children and treat them with dignity and respect.

In Titus 2, older women are told to mentor the younger women.  “They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children…”

(For example:  Out of love and because of wisdom, I need to keep doing swim lessons, using flotation devices, and not letting my non-swimming children near the pool without someone specifically tasked to watch them!)

The key is that we must not make these decisions out of fear, but out of love and faith.  Perhaps the choices we make will be the same, either way.  But the difference lies in the heart.  Our hearts will be at peace.

3.  Trust.   In the end, we must trust God with the results.  We trust God when we triumph.  We trust God when we fail.  We trust Him because He is Love.

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.  I Timothy 1:7

These are a Few of My Favorite Things

It’s that time of year again!  Time to start thinking about “bouquets of newly sharpened pencils,” shiny new curriculum, goals and folders, planners and field trips.  It is time for a new school year!

Whenever I start a new school year, I like to think back to the previous year and contemplate what worked, what didn’t, and what I’d like to add or change or cut out.

So here are some things that worked well last year: A list of my 10 Favorite Things from the 2013-2014 school year.

1.  Fun Times with Time Travel.  We won’t do this again this year, since we already did it, but using our imagination and having a theme or a fun little gimmick was memorable for me and we all enjoyed it.  So maybe we’ll do something this year- perhaps pretend we are archaeologists?

Our Time Machine… hopefully someday, the kids will get how cool this particular design for a time machine really is

2.  Science Experiments.  Some of my favorite times last year was our science lessons and experiments.  They were a lot of effort to execute, but oh, so worth it.  We used 106 Days of Creation Studies from the Simply Charlotte Mason website and loved it.

 

3.  Nature Walks and our completion of the Outdoor Hour Challenges.  I really don’t think I can say enough about the Outdoor Hour Challenge.  It has been one of the most important things we’ve done in the past two years.  I have seen the most dramatic change or growth or learning in this area because of our participation in the Outdoor Hour Challenge- and not just in the kids.  In myself as well.  We love our Nature Walks and the Challenges.

This particular fun activity was part of an Autumn Challenge.

4.  Pastels. This was a new thing we discovered this last year.  Through the Outdoor Hour Challenge Newsletter, I was led to the  Hodgepodge  website and specifically her many pastels tutorials.  We explored this medium some this past year (and this not-incredibly-artistic girl was very grateful for those simple and straightforward and easy-to-follow tutorials!) and we all had so much fun!  This is something we all want to continue to do!

My Pastel Pumpkin

5.  Pilgrim Day.  We took a day out of our normal schooling activities and played Pilgrims.   We dressed up, ate pilgrim-inspired food and did pilgrim-like chores and played games similar to games pilgrim children played.  It was a really fun day.  So much so that when asked what her favorite thing about last year was, Princess K mentioned this day.  When asked what she hopes to do in her next school year, she wants to do this again.

6.  The Solar System Puzzle.  This is science again, but what can I say?  I like science.  And fun.  When we studied the solar system, we took a few hours (during the preschoolers’ naptime, of course!) to put together a 200 piece Ravensburger puzzle.  Discovering the fact that my kids are getting old enough to start to do things- like 200 piece puzzles- that are fun for me too was a really exciting moment for me.

7.  Backyard Nature Exploration.  I love the relaxed pace of homeschooling.  I love that part of school can be to go outside (or send the kids outside while I’m making lunch) and explore the backyard.  The kids made huge mud puddles (mud swimming pools, really) and found all kinds of interesting bugs and my Princess was SO excited when she saw the first flower of spring in our backyard.  It was a magical moment.

The first very cheerful flower of spring in our backyard.

8.  Little House Books & Activities.  We did American History this last year, so in about March, we made it to the place in our History lessons where we started reading The Little House in the Big Woods.  This was one of my favorite books as a child and I still had my very book from childhood that I had read so often.  It was a true treat to share that with my children.  It was also very sweet to make maple sugar candy out of maple syrup kind of like they did in the book (except that we did not have snow, so we used our more modern and less wintery methods).

Maple Sugar Candy!

9.  Learning to Draw.  We used many different books (because again, I’m not all that artistic or particularly talented in the whole drawing thing) to teach us how to draw (like Drawing with Children, Draw Write Now, How to Draw 101 Animals, and the Usborne how-to-draw books) and we spent some good time drawing pilgrim things and Christmas things and trees and flowers and animals.  It was really fun and good for my kids to improve in their drawing.  They took satisfaction in their improvement.

Drawing Animals

10.  Graduation.  My mother-in-law approached me last year and told me about this sweet little outfit her mother had made for her own Kindergarten graduation.  Then her daughter (my husband’s sister of course) wore the same little outfit for her graduation.  She really wanted Princess K to wear it for her graduation.  So she asked us if we would mind having a little graduation for our kids for the purpose of getting photographs of Princess K in the little graduation outfit.  I loved the idea.

First Grade Graduation

I made a little 6 minute slideshow of our year (and my wonderful husband put it to some Graduation-y music!) and printed out some “Diplomas” for my two little (1st Grade and Kindergarten) graduates.  My mother-in-law dug out and ironed the heirloom outfit and somehow procured a shiny blue graduation robe for X-man.  She also made them graduation caps out of cardstock and a lovely lunch for our guests (including diploma taquitos tied with a green onion ribbon).

Kindergarten Graduate

We invited all the grandparents to attend and set up the chairs outside where there was a lovely place for a stage.  We played some Pomp and Circumstance for them to walk down to and they first led the pledge of allegiance.  They sang two hymns they learned this year (Amazing Grace and Crown Him with Many Crowns) and then were interviewed by the Principal, their Daddy, who asked them about their favorite subjects, activities, and books this year.  They received their diplomas and then we had lunch.  It was a very lovely day.

The Graduation Ceremony

And we definitely got plenty of photographs for a very happy Grandma!

So those were a few of my favorite things this past year.  These are good to remember as I plan for this next year.  Taking the time to make this list makes it clear that I really need to make sure I intentionally allow plenty of time for the “fun extras” of education since those are the most memorable and beautiful moments of the year.

Discipleship with Children: Seven Principles (Part 3)

Very slowly over the last 2 months, I have been studying and writing about the principles of discipleship that I have seen in the Gospel of Mark.

In my first post, I wrote about how a teacher must develop a relationship with their student, identify with their student, and use all opportunities to teach a student the truth.

In my second post, I wrote about how a teacher must give opportunity for guided practice and must pray for their students.

Today I want to address the final two principles: A Teacher prepares a student for the future and A Teacher lives the example his students will follow.

6.  A Teacher Prepares His Students for the Future

When I was cleaning out my garage this past weekend, I came across a binder that contained a syllabus I wrote for my Seventh Grade English class (I taught at a small Christian school).  My first paragraph included the words, ” To succeed in today’s world and to impart the gospel to today’s people, Christians need to  know how to write, speak, and read well.”

My ultimate goal for my students was to prepare them for their future.

In Mark and the other gospels, Jesus, their Rabbi, or Teacher, takes the time to warn and prepare His disciples for the future.

He warns them about his coming death and resurrection:

“He was teaching his disciples, saying to them, “The Son of Man is going to be delivered into the hands of men, and they will kill him. And when he is killed, after three days he will rise.”  Mark 9:31

He warned them about the persecutions and tribulations they would have to endure and about the false prophets they would encounter so that they could be on their guard, remain faithful and continue doing God’s work, despite discouragement:

“ But be on guard; I have told you all things beforehand.”  Mark 13:23

He comforts them and gives them hope with the promise of His return:

“And then they will see the Son of Man coming in clouds with great power and glory.” Mark 13:26

Preparing for the future is something we all know that we should do.  I’m sure we have all heard or read Aesop’s Fable, The Grasshopper and the Ant, that warns us of the foolishness of not practically preparing for hard times that come in life.  Financial advisers tell us to have six or twelve months expenses saved for a crisis.  If there is a busy morning the next day, it is helpful to get things ready the night before.  I love having pre-prepared meals in the freezer to pull out on busy evenings.

We must also prepare our hearts spiritually for our future.  None of us know how long we have here on earth.  It is of vital importance to first, be sure you know where you are spending your future.

God’s perfect and absolute holiness and justice means that sin can not be brushed aside, excused or ignored.  It must be paid for. We all make wrong choices and do unkind and hurtful things.  We sin.  We break God’s law and we must accept the consequences for our crimes.  That means eternal separation from God.

But His mercy and love toward us could not leave us in such a desperate situation.  He had to make a way to rescue us.  And He did.  His heartbreaking yet glorious plan included God’s Son coming to earth as a man to  live a sinless life and suffer and die in our place.  He took the punishment for our sins.  He paid the price for our crimes.

Now forgiveness is freely available for those who accept it.  Those who do have their future secured for them.  This is the most important decision any human will make on this earth.

Once we have that settled, we still must work to be ready for our future by being busy at God’s work all the time.  We must live responsibly, love wholeheartedly, serve cheerfully.  We must be ready at all times to share with others the reason for the hope we have.

As a mother, one of my God ordained tasks is to disciple my children.  I must tell them about how they can be spiritually ready for the future.  I also train them and teach them practical things so that they will be prepared to live the life God wants them to live here on earth until they go to be with Him.

Therefore, Biblical and hymn studies come first in our schedule as it is first in our hearts and priorities.  Then reading, writing, math, science, history, fine arts, crafts, and life skills are all a part of week as they are important ingredients in my discipleship of my children.

7. A Teacher Lives the Example His Students Will Follow 

When I was a young teacher, one day, I misunderstood one of my students, a seventh grade girl and snapped at her.  Immediately, I realized that I had misunderstood and I had been completely unfair.  Her face fell and froze.  I got the other students busy at their task and then quickly went up to her and humbly apologized for my words.

The next year, I was subbing for another teacher in a class that she was in.  The students decided to play a classic let’s-see-what-we-can-get-away-with-because-there-is-a-sub trick on me (I think it had to do with the seating chart).  When I realized what they were up to, I was a little disappointed in the students and told them so.  Then I got them busy with whatever work was assigned to them and sat at the teacher’s desk with my own work.

This particular girl came up to me right away.  She apologized to me for her part.  I was impressed and blessed by her apology.  This incident with this girl has remained in my heart and mind all these years.  I had not really thought of my first apology as an example for my students to follow.  It was humbling and sobering to think that not just my academic lessons but my daily actions might influence them.

The whole book of Mark and actually, all of the gospels describe the perfect example in the life of Christ.  They recount his deeds, his teachings, his heart, his will, his obedience to the Father and his love for his people.

“For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps.”  I Peter 2:21

“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”  Mark 10:45

“If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.  For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.”  John 13:14-15

Have you ever heard your words, phrases, turns of speech come out of your children’s mouths?  It might be a frightening idea that what we say in our homes might get broadcasted to the whole world.

More than that, our children see what we do and do it too.  My mom was a teacher, an enthusiastic and thematic party planner, and a crazy list-maker.  I am too.  But unfortunately, kids don’t just pick up on the good things.  They’ll pick up our bad habits and unattractive traits too.  The whole idea of “Do as I say and not as I do” is really just a joke.

So the only way to live the example I want for my children is to spend time with the Lord in his Word and in prayer every single day.  If I abide in Him and his words abide in me, then I will be prepared to live the best example I can for my children and for anyone else who might be watching.

And in it all: my marriage, my relationship and discipleship of my children, my service to others, my life, the grace of God envelops and enables me.  I stand through his power and his grace alone.  To God be the glory forever!

 

(I wrote a version of the poem “I Took His Hand and Followed.”  It is about following Christ’s example, so take a look if you’d like.)

Discipleship with Children: 7 Principles (Part 2)

When I first began homeschooling, my wise mother, who homeschooled my brother and sister for a few years in our childhood, gave me a piece of very excellent advice.  She told me that as a creative homeschooler, I would come up with and find and hear about a great many wonderful ideas for lessons, crafts, projects, activities, and so on.  These awesome and creative lessons, crafts, projects, and activities are the icing on the cake of homeschooling- and add fun and life and excitement to our educational pursuits.  However, education is not my only responsibility and other obligations would crop up and compete in my daily schedule.

So she told me to have a short list of basic requirements that we do every day.  Then, in our day to day life, if we have time for the extras- go for it and enjoy.  But success is measured by the short list and not on the extras.  This, she assured me, would free me from massive amounts of guilt, when reality inevitably does not match up with my dreams.

The first item on my short list, then, is Bible.  Since biblical knowledge of God gives us everything we need that pertains to life and godliness, this subject is first in priority and in our schedule.  We sing a hymn before breakfast and I read our Bible passage while they eat.  Discipleship, the fostering of my children’s personal relationships with the Lord, occurs throughout the day as it comes up.

Discipling my children is a priority in my heart and a topic I have been studying.  I have been reading the Gospel of Mark in my personal devotion time and have been looking carefully at the ultimate example of Jesus and how He discipled His followers.  A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about the first three principles of discipleship I noticed in my studies which were, briefly: Time, Identify, and Teachable Moments.  Today I would like to write about two more principles I saw.

Guided Practice

4. A Teacher Provides Opportunities for Practice

My college degree is in Elementary Education.  I took several classes on methods of teaching and creating lessons.  In the course of a well crafted lesson, you have an introduction (that relates the material to be taught to the student so as to make a meaningful connection), explanation of the new material, modeling (often by completing an example), guided practice (in the presence of the teacher who is available to assist and reteach, if necessary), and then independent practice (which is often homework).

In the Gospels, I see this pattern of lessons in Jesus’ ministry.  He taught the crowds using miracles or parables to help them understand his teachings.  He modeled what He taught in how He lived.  Then He gave His disciples opportunities for Guided Practice.  One notable example of this is in Mark 6.  “And he called the twelve and began to send them out two by two, and gave them authority over the unclean spirits… The apostles returned to Jesus and told him all that they had done and taught. ” (v 7, 30).  They were to preach and do miracles.  They were, in fact, practicing the mission Jesus would give them when He eventually left Earth and ascended into Heaven.

As disciples of Jesus, He will give us, too, opportunities to practice ministry.  Serving under someone’s mentoring leadership paves the way for us to minister and mentor others ourselves.  Younger women should be on the lookout for older women to mentor them, teach them, advise them, encourage them.

Then we, as mothers, should both model to our children how to live and minister and serve and also give our children opportunities to learn how to minister and serve others.  My  mother brought me to teach Sunday School to 1st graders under her leadership when I was in high school.  Later, in college, I took over teaching the 3rd and 4th grade Sunday School classes.  I have had my children help me make a meal and go with me to deliver that meal to a new mom or a grieving family.  We are teaching our children to do housework and yard work by helping us as we do it.  In a few years, they can be a part of helping out an elderly or sick member of our congregation.  Finally, my hope is that they will continue this practice of serving others for God’s glory as they grow into adulthood.

5.  A Teacher Prays for His Students and Teaches Them to Pray

In the first chapter of Mark, Jesus retreats to a lonely place to pray and there his disciples find Him.  In Mark 11, the disciples are in awe that the fig tree that Jesus cursed had withered overnight.  He replies to them,  “Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.” (v 24-25)

Thus, in His example and in His words, He teaches the disciples the importance, power, and method of prayer.  The Gospel of John chapter 17 records a beautiful prayer that Jesus prayed for His disciples.  He prays for God’s glory and for their unity, protection, sanctification, and joy that the Father’s mission may be accomplished in them.

As faithful disciples of Jesus, we should make prayer a daily- even hourly- habit.  In his book, Celebration of Discipline, Richard Foster says, “Of all the Spiritual Disciplines prayer is the most central because it ushers us into perpetual communion with the Father” (p 33).  He also says, “Real prayer is something we learn” (p 36).  To do this, we can study the prayers of Old Testament and New Testament saints.  We can read about the prayers of missionaries and listen to the prayers of the pastors, teachers, and elders in our lives.

Then, we must pass on what we learn about prayer to our children.  They must be taught the importance of prayer in the life of a disciple of Jesus.  They must be taught the power of the prayers of a believer who prays in faith.  They must be taught how to pray.  They can learn from your example, and then you can be sure to read to them the examples of the prayers of the saints in the Bible and read to them missionary stories where prayer is a powerful vehicle for change and the miraculous work of God.

We must also pray for our children.  I received this beautiful poem in a baby shower gift several years back:

I Have A Mother Who Prays

Some have had kings in their lineage,
Some to whom honor was paid.
I don’t have those as my ancestors
But I have a mother who prays.

I have a mother who prays for me
And pleads with the Lord every day for me.
Oh what a difference it makes for me
I have a mother who prays.

My mother’s prayers cannot save me,
Only mine can avail;
But Mother introduced me to someone,
someone who never could fail.

Oh yes…I have a mother who prays for me
And pleads with the Lord every day for me.
O what a difference it makes for me
I have a mother who prays.

Author unknown

Next time, I will talk about the last two principles for discipling children.

Discipleship with Children- 7 Principles (Part I)

Last summer, the night before my mother moved across the country to care for her aging and ailing parents, she took me to see the movie Brave.  It was a very appropriate movie for a mother-daughter date, especially when said daughter has herself a head of vivid red hair and a very lively and determined personality.  However, the most powerful moment of this film for me was one where I identified not with the daughter but with the mother.  A violent, vicious bear charges toward the girl and Mother Bear hurls herself between danger and her daughter.

Don’t all of us- mothers, aunts, sisters, teachers, nurses, women-  identify with this mother?  Who of us wouldn’t do whatever it took to save a child in our care?

And I’m sure it is the deepest cry of every Christian parent’s heart to desire their child’s salvation more than anything else they want for that child.

I’ve been studying the book of Mark in my own personal Bible study time lately.  During this time through, I’ve been taking special notice of how Christ taught, mentored, and nurtured his disciples.   Oswald Chambers in My Utmost for His Highest has a great definition of discipleship.

“Discipleship means a personal, passionate devotion to a Person, our Lord Jesus Christ” (from July 2)  and  “The secret of a disciple’s life is devotion to Jesus Christ” (from June 19).

So here are three of seven principles I gleaned from the book of Mark to help develop devotion for Jesus in yourself (which must come first!) and in your children.

1.  A Teacher Takes Time to Develop a Relationship with His Disciples

Jesus chose twelve men (in Mark 1:17 and 3:14-15) to be his constant companions.  He spent three years living, working, traveling, eating, and fellowshipping with them.  Therefore, He had many, many opportunities to teach them about Himself, encourage them in their faith and to show them how they should live.

We must take time to develop our relationship with Jesus.  We need to spend time with Him every day through prayer and reading His Word, for “Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord” (Deuteronomy 8:3).  Personally, I get up early in the morning (thanks partially to the encouragement of the Hello Mornings challenge, described in my post about Making the Most of my Mornings), before my children wake up so that I can spend a little time with the Lord.  This practice gives me the strength to take on my day.

We must also do this with our children.  They are our companions for a few years on this journey called life.  Investing time in developing a relationship with our children is vital that we may be given opportunities to disciple and shepherd their hearts.  Play with them.  Read to them.  Make fun memories with them.  Talk to them.  Listen to them.  Most importantly, encourage them to spend time developing a relationship of their own with Jesus by modeling it, providing them with a Bible and journal, teaching them how to pray, and giving them time.

2.  A Teacher Identifies with His Students

Mark chapter one describes how Jesus entered and identified with His creation: He became a man, was baptized, and suffered temptation.  He identified with us, became like one of us, so that He could not only most importantly die as a substitute for us; but he could also therefore sympathize with us and help us in our troubles.  Hebrews 2:18 says, “Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.”  Hebrews 4:15 says, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.”   The author of Hebrews then encourages us to boldly approach Him, our King, in our time of need.

That Jesus would let go of His glorious and divine attributes to become a humble man so that we might live and lean on Him is amazing.  This should spur us on to greater love and devotion as His disciples.  And encourage us to go to Him when we are in trouble.

As teachers and disciplers of our children, we can learn from Christ’s example.  We should take the time to identify with our children, to sympathize with them in their struggles and weaknesses.  After all, we were children once.  We know how powerless and frustrated they feel.  If we take the time to think about things from their perspective, we can sympathize with their anger or sadness.  As we sympathize with our children, trust is built and the relationship is strengthened.  Then when they are in trouble, they know they can come to us.  We have thus been given a precious opportunity to point them to Jesus.  For it is in trouble when we all see most clearly our need for Jesus.  Then we can carry them or walk with them into His presence through prayer and by His Word.

3.  A Teacher Uses All Opportunities to Teach Truth

As Jesus walked through Israel with His disciples, completing His mission with them as His companions, there were many “teachable moments”  where He took the time to reveal truth and meaning to His disciples.  When He spoke in parables to the crowds (Mark 4), His disciples were curious as to what His stories meant.  Jesus used that opportunity to explain the truths behind His teachings to them.  He performed many miracles and taught a lesson to His disciples in many of them.  During their holiday feasts and celebrations, Jesus took the time to explain the deeper meaning behind their traditions.

Many of these “teachable moments” were written down by the disciples so that we have access to them in the gospels.  Christians also have the gift of the Spirit that reveals truth, helps with understanding God’s Word and reminds us of Jesus’ teachings.  This deeper understanding we can have deepens our devotion as disciples of Jesus.

As parents, we have a captive audience in our children.  As homeschool moms, we have even more time with our children and therefore so many “teachable moments.”  This past week, I’ve helped a child through a fight with a sibling over toys, a compromise in what game to play, and how to do a difficult task.  Things may come up in line at a grocery store, at a play date at a park, or while watching TV that give an opportunity to share the gospel, explain a truth or wise principle for living, or just point to the glorious grace of God.

Pray for your eyes to be open to these “teachable moments.” Pray that you do not get caught up in academics, or a To Do List and ignore this precious opportunity to do the work of the Kingdom.  These moments where are children are open, asking questions, and curious are moments when their hearts are soft and their ears receptive to truth.  Let us seize those moments and rejoice in them.  And let us not worry about the things that don’t get done instead.

Next week I will talk about the final four principles for discipling children.

Choosing Peace

 Hands Full of Crazy- and awesome- Kids

I really love to plan.  I enjoy planning school- lessons, field trips, schedules.  I love planning vacations, new schemes for house cleaning or organization, and ways to invest in or raise my children.  So it is really not all that surprising that I like making New Year’s Resolutions.

I like the idea of a fresh start in the New Year.  The busy holiday season is behind me and I am facing a New Year full of possibilities and opportunities.  I usually take my time to think and ponder and pray about what I want to focus on- or hopefully, what the Lord wishes to work on in my heart for that year.

This year, however, it did not take me very long at all to figure out what needs to change in my heart this year.  In fact, I have felt this desperate need deep in my heart for months, though only really recognized it in the crazy weeks preceding Christmas.  I am desperate for peace.

A Rare Moment of Peace

As you can probably imagine, in my household with four young children (three of which are crazy boys and one of which is a dramatic girl), days characterized by calmness, quiet, cleanliness, and organization are nonexistent.  In fact mere minutes characterize by any one of those things are incredibly rare.  I keep thinking that if I can get a better organizational system, or finish getting settled, or get rid of half of my possessions, perhaps then I can have some peace.

It was in the beginning of December that it struck me.  I was thinking about it all wrong.  I was thinking that peace depended on my circumstances.  

Peace is not a clean house and perfectly behaved children.  Peace does not only occur when you are on vacation and out of cell phone service range.  Peace is not achieved by being  financially solvent.  You do not earn peace through your good, responsible, right behavior.  Peace is a gift.  And peace is a choice.

The angels heralding Christ’s arrival to poor shepherds watching their flocks at night declared, “Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased.” (Luke 2:14)

Peace is not a clean house

There are two kinds of peace.  The first is the absence of strife between people.  Christ came to bring peace between God and man.  Man had offended God’s law and Christ satisfied the law and the punishment.  Therefore, we now have peace with God.  We can also have peace with one another as any wrong doing or offense has been paid for on the cross.  This peace is breath-takingly glorious and is ours in Christ.

Peace is also an inner state of untroubled, undisturbed well-being and security.  Ah, this is what I long for.  To feel inside my heart that I am secure and that nothing can trouble me or disturb me.  The first peace is a gift from Christ to us.  This second peace is too.  It does not depend on our circumstances.  In fact, Christ’s peace is more fully revealed and recognized in trials and troubles.

“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give you; not as the world gives do I give to you.  Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.” (John 14:27, NASB)

Peace despite his casted leg and his box top bedding

So how to get this wonderful peace?  Luke gave us a clue in the tenth chapter of his gospel when he describes the scene of Jesus visiting the home of Mary and Martha.

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.  She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things,  but few things are needed—or indeed only one.  Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”   (Luke 10:38-42)

We must sit at the Lord’s feet, fill our minds with His words, talk to Him and listen to Him.  Peace is a gift He gives us, but we must choose to accept it.  We must choose to present our requests to Him (Phil. 4:6-7).  We choose to think about things that are good, true, and pure (Phil. 4:8).  We choose to meditate on Scripture so that is what flows out of our mouths when we speak (Col. 3:15-16).  We choose to be thankful in every circumstance (I Thess. 5:16-18).  We abide in Christ and let His words abide in us (Jn 15:7).

Paul lets us in on the secret.  The secret to peace and contentment:  “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” (Phil. 4:13)

So, this year, my resolution is to choose peace.  To fill my mind with God’s Word and pray for His peace to guard my heart and my mind.  When my house is messy, the kids are going crazy, and my schedule is in shambles, I choose peace.

Choosing peace even in the midst of chaos

 

Preparing the Hearts of my Children for Jesus

When I was pregnant with my first child, I spent a lot of time preparing for his arrival.  My husband and I attended a 12 week birth preparation class.  We read books like Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and Signing Smart for Babies and Children.  We rented the video Happiest Baby on the Block and memorized the 5 S’s.  We spent a great deal of time selecting the right furniture and then decorating and setting up the nursery.  I diligently washed and folded all of the tiny little onesies and sweet little outfits and placed them carefully in little baskets and drawers. I had my hospital bag packed and the car seat buckled in the car a month ahead of time.  When our little boy finally arrived, we were ready.

With our second, things were a little different.  I did set up the baby’s area and put her clothes in baskets and I did pack my hospital bag, but with only two weeks to go instead of four.  The carseat was attached in the seat about 5 minutes before we left for the hospital.   I cut it a little closer with my third, getting my preparations done about a week ahead of time.

And then with number four, I pulled out the box of baby boy clothes the weekend before he was due and I packed my hospital bag the day before he arrived.  My husband had to go back home for the carseat and the evening of the day we brought him home, my husband went to the store to get a bassinet, since our other one had broken and we didn’t check it or set it up until we came home from the hospital.

Careful preparation for my first-born son

How different my preparations were with my first and subsequent children.  It is a reflection, I suppose, of the calmness that comes with experience and the business that comes with having children underfoot.

Lately, I have been studying Mark.  In the very first few verses of the book, I see the care that God takes to prepare the world for the arrival of His First-Born Son.

” The beginning of the gospel of Jesus Christ, the Son of God.  As it is written in Isaiah the prophet,

“Behold, I send my messenger before your face,
    who will prepare your way,
 the voice of one crying in the wilderness:
    ‘Prepare the way of the Lord,
    make his paths straight,’”

Mark 1:1-3 

God had been preparing for hundreds of years for the arrival of His Son.  He told Adam and Eve that He would come.  He promised Abraham that He would come from one of his descendents.  He prescribed feast days, most significantly the Passover, to give a picture of what His Son would do when He came.  He told prophets details of His birth place and His life’s work.  He prepared a messenger ahead of time to soften and prepare the hearts of the people so that they would be ready for the Messiah and His message.

“John appeared, baptizing in the wilderness and proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins.  And all the country of Judea and all Jerusalem were going out to him and were being baptized by him in the river Jordan, confessing their sins.  Now John was clothed with camel’s hair and wore a leather belt around his waist and ate locusts and wild honey. 7 And he preached, saying, “After me comes he who is mightier than I, the strap of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie.  I have baptized you with water, but he will baptize you with the Holy Spirit.”  Mark 1: 4-8 

This messenger, John the Baptist, preached a message of repentance so that the people would see their need for a Savior.  He was a godly example to the people as did not seek after possessions and the finer things of life, but lived for the purpose to which God had called him.  Though he enjoyed great success in his ministry he glorified the Lord and pointed to the Messiah as one greater than himself.

As God through John the Baptist prepared His people’s hearts for His Son, I want to take care to prepare my children’s hearts to follow Jesus throughout their lives.  So I can do the things that John the Baptist did for the people of Israel:

1.  Show them their Need:  Daily Bible lessons and stories can reveal God’s character and standards, His mercy, justice, and compassion.  Whenever shepherding or discipline opportunities arise, I can use them to show my children their need for Christ.

2.  Be an Example: I can only do this through Christ’s strength, but because of His grace, even my failures can be opportunities to point them to Christ and show them how to live.  When I do wrong and apologize, they learn to repent.  When I start my morning with prayer and in the Scriptures, they learn how to have a relationship with Christ.  When we worship the Lord together as a family, they experience its significance and beauty.  When I pray before them for our needs or about our problems, they learn what to do when they struggle.  When I bring them with my to deliver a meal or help a friend, they learn the joy of serving others.

3.  Point to Jesus: There are opportunities every day to see the glory of God and the work of Jesus in the world.  As I thank the Lord aloud for our blessings and point out His beautiful creation and notice His hand in all of our lessons and in our life, they can see Jesus.  And hopefully, with hearts softened and ready, be drawn closer to Him every day.

So my prayer is that I will take greater care in preparing their hearts for Jesus than I spent in preparing their rooms for their arrival.  (You know, A LOT more care.)

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.  And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.  You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”  Deuteronomy 6:5-7

Monday Musings: Children, Consequences, & Forgiveness

The Recognition of Josephy by his Brothers by Peter von Cornelius

I do not know if it is the age or the stress of the last 6 weeks, but my almost-three-year-old has been particularly unruly for the past few weeks.  He’s been getting into things he knows he shouldn’t and loudly vocal with his disapproval of certain activities and decisions.  He climbs, throws, dumps, pushes, bonks, steals, shoves, destroys.  A little over a week ago, he decided to throw- with a sufficient amount of force to cause utter devastation- a toy train at our two year old television (this is actually fairly new for us, as that television replaced a big old box TV that was at least 20 years old).  Now we don’t have cable or satellite or an antenna or anything like that, but we do use our television to stream Netflix, to play our Wii, and to play DVDs.  And at this time, with so recently dealing with un- and underemployment and then a move, and with expensive dental care and car repair needs in our immediate future, we do not have the finances to replace it.  I felt very angry with my son after this little episode and my personal sense of justice was offended.  He needs to pay for his crime, I thought.  But as I said it, a still small voice reminded me of a vital truth that I had forgotten in the heat of the moment.  Of course, Jesus has already paid for all crimes.  Justice has already been served.

So I’ve been thinking lately about children, consequences, and forgiveness.  Because as a parent, I must both train my children in righteous living- which includes discipline and consequences- and also forgive them and show God’s glorious grace to them.  Most of the time, this is easy to do.  My love for them and my understanding of their young stage of life and immature thought processing helps me to easily forgive and not desire revenge and therefore execute appropriate consequences.  But sometimes with these bigger things or often on bad days when I’m tired or grouchy or stressed, it is more challenging to keep a good balance.  Sometimes, it honestly is difficult to forgive.  With how this little son of mine has been behaving lately and the high cost of the item he destroyed, I found I needed a little refresher of God’s opinion on forgiveness and discipline.

1.  Forgive Fully- as Christ forgave us

    And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands.  This he set aside, nailing it to the cross.   ~Colossians 2:13-14

   Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, fogiving each other, as the Lord has fogiven you, so you also must forgive .  ~Colossians 3:12-13

Christ canceled our debt by nailing it to the cross.  Therefore, any debts against me have been paid in full.

 

2.  Forgive Every Time– no matter how many times a week, a day, and hour offense is committed

   Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin agains-t me, and I forgive him?  As many as seven times?”  Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times but seventy times seven.”

Just this morning, while my husband was putting hot oatmeal into bowls for the children, my little preschool rascal absconded with the just-opened-cannister of oatmeal.  Next thing we knew, it was empty, having been liberally scattered throughout his room, on the floor and the beds and in the crib.  While I was cleaning up that mess, he happily dumped almost the entire shaker of cinnamon-sugar into his oatmeal, rendering it unedible.  I removed the shaker from his possession before he could finish his self-appointed task and went to finish cleaning up the oatmeal.  When I returned, he had poured all of the rest of my special pure maple syrup (that I use a teaspoon at a time) into my uneaten bowl of oatmeal rendering it also unedible.  Before I took the kid’s head off, I tossed him in his room for a time out.

It took a few minutes to cool off.   I went and talked to him about not dumping food out and he apologized.  And then 90 minutes later at snack time, he dumped his whole bowl of applesauce out onto the table.  Thus, it was very important that I read this verse to myself today.  I needed the reminder!

 

3.  Forgive Because God Intends it for Good

   …”Please forgive the transgression of your brothers and their sin, because they did evil to you….” But Joseph said to them, “Do not fear, for am I in the place of God?  As for you,  you meant evil against me, but GOd meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.”  ~Genesis 50:17, 19-20

Joseph’s brothers sold Joseph into slavery, hoping to get rid of him forever because of their jealousy.  They meant great evil to their brother.  My preschooler does not –generally– mean evil towards me, he just wishes selfishly to do as he pleases.  Even so, God intends all of these things for good.  He will work all things together for the good of those who love him!  (Romans 8:28)  This morning’s fiasco called our attention to the fact that our kids are likely starved for our attention- with the stressful and very busy season of moving, we haven’t had our normal routines or that much time for individual attention.  My husband and I have decided to schedule in regular dates with each of our children once a month.  There was a special Daddy/Z-urchin date this evening to the park.  Good came out of our struggles.

With our television disaster, I saw God’s gracious hand at work.  I was immensely thankful that He did not allow its destruction while we were in the process of moving.  We needed it often to keep the kids occupied while we were rushing to pack up and then unpack our home.  It came at a time when we honestly needed a time of detox from watching videos.  It came the weekend before the first week of school, when I was going to need their attention.  Not having the TV as a temptation to either them or me was probably the best thing.  And, to give you the happy ending to this story: my generous in-laws arrived at our house this past weekend with a birthday gift- a new TV!  We plan to mount it on the wall to discourage further attempts to destroy it.

4.  Discipline for their Benefit

   They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.  No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. ~Hebrews 12:10-11

 

This was the point that I spent the most time pondering.  How to know that the discipline I hand out is appropriate when I am steaming mad about it?  This passage is contrasting God’s discipline with that of human fathers.  But I figure, we should model God’s discipline as best as we can.  And it’s true- we don’t discipline out of a sense of revenge or retribution, but out of a desire that they grow up well.  We want them to live righteously, responsibly, and at peace with God and man.  This is the test for my motivations when disciplining my children: Does it benefit them?

I do want to teach my child to not dump food or other things out.  That wastes food and money.  He does need to be taught wise stewardship.  So, food that he dumps does not get replaced.  Food that he liberally seasons with a great excess of cinnamon is not replaced.  His minor pangs of hunger won’t hurt him in the long run and lessons can be learned in the meantime.  Even at amost-three-years-old.

I also want to teach my child not to destroy property.  He destroyed an expensive piece of property that was not his.  I do realize that my very brief daydream of taking sharp shears to his blankie was not an appropriate discipline, aimed at benefitting him.  Though I admit to indulging the thought for a moment.  But it was appropriate that he did not get to watch any videos for the whole week.  He broke the television, these are the natural consequences- even though technically, he could have watched a video on my computer.  Every time he asked to watch a video was an opportunity to discuss with him what not to do to televisions.

I know that this is the age for constant activity and for rebellion and the first noisy bids for independence.  The Terrible Twos and the Tyrannical Threes, right?  So a daily dose of God’s word to fill me up with patience and grace and forgiveness is necessary for me to do a good job in training my precious children.  It is the most important job I’ll ever have.  And thankfully, God’s grace and forgiveness is there for me when I fail.  I really do need it!